That was the message she feared. Sitting opposite her oncologist, Linda Nolan was told that new tumors had appeared in her liver.
When the star, who was suffering from incurable secondary breast cancer, came home, she closed the front door and let out a heartbeat.
But given the recent setback of her 14-year struggle with the disease, Linda insists she aims to come here for as many Christmas as she can. We can reveal that she is dating again.
The 61-year-old singer says: “I knew when I went to the room for my appointment because I could tell from the counselor’s behavior.
“He turned to me and said the CT scan showed something in my liver again. I asked if it was cancer, and he said yes.
“It’s scary, I’m not going to lie. I try to be excited and positive, but I had a very bad day when I came back. ”
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Linda tried to put a bold face on her famous Nolan siblings.
He adds: “I told my sisters I was fine, but I cried when I got into my house. I am afraid of dying because I need that cry. “
Linda had breast cancer in 2006, cellulitis and lymphoma in her hand in 2007 and secondary cancer in her hip in 2017.
In March, he discovered the disease had spread to his liver, and he had chemotherapy, which ended in September.
Linda faced a two-month wait to find out if the cancer had shrunk, but two weeks ago she was found to have more tumors on the organ.
He adds: “When I was told I still needed chemo, I thought, ‘Oh my God, my hair is growing back.’ It was oral chemotherapy, 10 pills a day.
“I now take 26 pills a day. I asked him how long he would take the chemo pills, he said until they worked. ”
The star did not ask for a forecast, saying: “I do not want to know if I got 18 months, two years or nothing. It was not enough to think about this in my head. But what I want for Christmas is some more Christmas.
“It’s the best of all. I want to be here as much as possible. The counselor was so excited, he said there was no way we could talk about the last year of my life.”
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Linda is determined to be positive, but she agrees. “I’m lucky it’s treatable, but I approach it thinking ‘this could be my last Christmas’.”
This she also accepted in 2017 and adds with a chuckle: “I was crazy, I got an iPod for Maureen and sent Denise to a beautiful hotel with her partner.
“Then in 2018 I said:‘ You get junk gifts, I’m still here. ’” Cancer has given Linda a new perspective on life.
He takes his dog Petty Boo, a gift from Sister Colleen, for a walk every day to stay healthy, and vows to enjoy every moment he can, reluctant to say no to interfering with family moments.
Linda, who lost her husband Brian in 2007, began dating again.
He says: “I was talking to someone on a dating app. We met in the park and took the box for a walk to get to know each other.
“It was nice, I might see him again, but I don’t want to be involved with anyone much now because I don’t know how long I’m going to be here. I’ve got the love of my life, but it’s good to spend time with someone.”
Linda is determined to be open about her cancer to make sure others don’t feel alone. He adds: “I can not imagine you having to do this on your own. I have received so many beautiful messages on social media.
“There are two women I’m talking to. This time I’m helping them with their chemo.”
Linda is part of a tight family clan made up of sisters Bernie, Anne, Denise, Maureen and Colin and brothers Tommy and Brian.
The sisters, who have sold over 30 million records worldwide as The Nolans, recently filmed a documentary series.
At Home with the Nolans they explore whether there is a cancer gene in the family and look for a half-sister they have not met.
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It will also focus on Anne and Linda’s cancer journeys.
Linda says: “I filmed the series without my wig. All of my sisters said to me, ‘I was very impressed with how you handled the hair thing.’ The only person who calls me Balti is my four year old eldest daughter-in-law Roma.
“She was rolling on the floor laughing out loud when she saw me.
“Kids make you realize that this is not important at all.” Anne, who was diagnosed with breast cancer 20 years ago, was diagnosed with the third stage of the disease in April. She was told that her cancer was curable and that it was gone.
Linda says: “I’m happy for Anne. I was very happy to get the news. Linda feels that Bernie, who died of breast cancer in 2013, will be just as prepared against the disease as Brian.
He adds: “It’s only really positive thoughts from them. Not a day goes by that I do not think about Bernie.”
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Linda, who admits she committed suicide after Brian’s death, is adamant not to give up.
She says: “I do not want to die. I wanted to be here, but in 2007 I wanted to die. ”
Linda thinks everyone should write a letter with their preferences when their time comes.
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She says. “I think I’ll go to a beautiful garden in paradise. Bernie will be waiting for me with a gin and tonic. Then Brian will walk around the corner with my mom and dad.
“I want to see Brian again, but I’m not ready now.”
- Home with the Nolans, Quest Red and Discovery + available on Tuesdays at 10pm