Have you ever wondered what the attitudes of an unhappy person are like? While we all experience negative thoughts from time to time, how we use our attitudes toward negative things can make a big difference between confidence and fear; hope versus despair; domination versus victimization and victory versus defeat.
According to a column published in the journal Psychology Today, several studies have revealed how negative attitudes can harm health, happiness, and well-being. The author of this publication, Preston Ni, classifies 8 negative thoughts presented in unhappy people, based on his book “How to Release Negative Thoughts and Emotions.”
1. Self-destructive speech
This is defined as messages that we send to ourselves, which they reduce our confidence and decrease our performance. In addition, they minimize our potential, sabotaging our success.
For the communication teacher, self-destructive speech includes phrases like, “I can’t; I’m not good enough”; “I don’t feel safe”; “I don’t have what it takes”; “I’m going to fail.”
Participating in a habitual discourse of self-destruction is like having one fake friend that makes you feel bad all day. You become your worst enemy and detractor.
2. Negative assumptions
One way to think negatively is take stock of a situation or interaction, assuming negative things. For many people, this attitude of “looking at the half-empty glass” is automatic; one could look at a rainy day or pay bills as negative experiences in “autopilot”.
per Preston Ni, There is nothing totally positive or negative about everyday things like traffic, weather or paying bills. The way you choose to relate to your environment is what makes certain situations happen positive or negative.
This choice can instantly make you stronger or weaker, happier or sadder. Given these situations, one might see one as an opportunity to listen to relaxing music or practice conscious breathing; a rainy day as an opportunity to go to bed at home with hot chocolate and a good book; or paying bills as an opportunity to practice the “pay first” wealth accumulation strategy. It’s all about how you choose to relate to the moment.
3. Negative comparison with others
One of the easiest and most common ways to feel bad about yourself is compare negatively with others. We may be exposed to being compared to those who are more successful, look more attractive, make more money, or brag about their lives through social media.
When it comes to having what the other person has and feeling jealous of it, the feeling of inferiority increases, having a negative social comparison moment. Research indicates that regular negative social comparisons can cause a person to experience more stress, anxiety, depression, and depression. make self-destructive decisions
4. Return negatively to the past
Preston Ni details that we have learn from the pastBut don’t get caught up in it. Sometimes life circumstances and personal setbacks can haunt us and prevent us from seeing our true potential. We cannot change what has already happened, but we can shape and influence what is about to happen.
To recognize new opportunities, sometimes the first step is to break with the past and declare that it is you and not your story who is in charge.
5. disempowerment of beliefs about difficult people
Throughout our lives we encounter difficult people and challenging individuals, who are tempted to believe that they are the perpetrators and we are the victims. Such attitudes, even if justified, they are reactive and generate psychological and emotional wear and tear and weakening.
The key to changing powerless beliefs about difficult people is to go from being reactive to proactive. Whether you are dealing with a narcissist, someone passive-aggressive, and perhaps a manipulative person, there are many skills and strategies you can use to keep yourself above the situation.
6. The desire to blame
Guilt can be defined as an attitude that blames others for our misfortunes. Some people cite their dysfunctional parents, negative relationships, or socioeconomic disadvantages as causes of unhappiness and lack of success in life.
While it is true that life presents many difficulties, cto insult others as the reason for unhappiness is to put oneself in the role of victim. Often, those are identified people who don’t care how you really feel. You only feel sorry for being a prisoner of your own bitterness and resentment.
Your feelings may be justified, but they won’t be a contribution to your happiness, success, or healthy lifestyle, isn’t that what you really want?
7. Forgive yourself
When you look at the mistakes of the past, you may come across decisions and actions that you regret or regret. Unfortunate errors that caused you harm or affected other people.
Therefore, when recalling the past, there may be a feeling of blaming oneself for mistakes made or missed opportunities. You might perceive yourself as a “bad” person and just blame yourself. During these times, it is extremely important to be compassionate with yourself, knowing that you are now more aware, you have the opportunity not to repeat the actions of the past and make a positive difference to your life and that of those around you.
8. Fear of failure and making mistakes
According to Preston Ni, these sensations are often associated with perfectionism (At least in certain areas of your life). You may think that you are not good enough in some respects, thus putting tremendous pressure on yourself to succeed.
While setting high standards can serve as a motivational tool, waiting for perfection can rob you of the joy of life, limiting your potential. Some studies have shown the correlation between perfectionism and unhappiness, and no matter how hard we try, human beings are not perfect.
For her part, writer Helen Russel, in her book “Atlas of Happiness,” explains that although our dreams come true, it seems that we failed to be happy. “” Sadness is normal and we all feel it, but sometimes it can be very difficult to get out (or get our loved ones out) of these dark wells. ”
The author, in her book explains that surrender is not the solution. Optimism is not frivolous, and we can all learn to be happy before being a little miserable, so that sometimes going through episodes of unhappiness can help us find the light we lack, to achieve our goals.