It’s amazing that so many people have an inability to consider their own businesses and need to criticize their neighbors for the nicest things. You see them every day on Nextdoor, complaining about covered lawns or paint colors that don’t “fit the neighborhood”.
Well, one of those tense neighbors, referred to in this story as a “Karen,” got involved with the wrong woman this holiday season (we’ll call her “Our Hero” for the story). He had no idea that criticizing his neighbor for having a gargoyle on the porch during the Christmas season would lead to a battle of epic proportions.
It all started with the fact that our hero’s neighbor sent a note that the gargoyles don’t “fit the Christmas spirit”. So he responded by feasting on Frank the Gargoyle with a Santa hat and beard.
Then our hero took things first hand to the festive meter by giving Frank a company, a Christmas tree.
Then the angry neighbor sent another note asking him if our hero thinks they are funny. So he decided to add a new item to the day, like an Advent calendar. Then Elf on a Shelf joins the party.
The next day, Frosty the snowman appeared on the porch of our hero.
Taking things a step further, he added a photo of Bruce Willis from “Die Hard,” because, for some, the film is a Christmas classic. These people deserve to be represented in such an inclusive holiday exhibition.
Things started to get a little more “A Nightmare Before Christmas,” which took care of the cat’s skeleton, which was added to the motley Christmas scene.
Then the neighbor responded with a note saying our hero was “childish” and “ridiculous”.
Our Hero then added a dog skeleton to the scene to keep the cat skeleton company.
via Frank the Christmas Gargoyle / Facebook
The neighbor gets really angry!
via Frank the Christmas Gargoyle / Facebook
The neighbor came back with another note that said, “HIPPOS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH CHRISTMAS !!!!!!!!!!” Haven’t you heard the famous song “I want a hippo for Christmas”?
via Frank the Christmas Gargoyle / Facebook
“With all these notes I’ve received, it made me think of another person who liked to write demanding notes, that is, the ghost of opera,” Our Hero wrote. “I guess now I become Monsieur Firmin.”
via Frank the Christmas Gargoyle / Facebook
The next announcement from the neighbor was that they had reported our hero to the homeowners association. But, like Kevin McCallister in “Home Alone,” she wouldn’t back down. “Are you giving up? Or are you thirsty?”
Nothing says Christmas 2020 like a plague doctor and rats.
Then the neighbor got seriously angry and knocked down part of the Christmas scene.
“WHO !! I left for three hours and there was a melee!” Our hero wrote. “It looks like we got attention today. Karen’s note today indicated that she wasn’t grateful to me for” choosing to put VERMIN on my porch. “My screen is” horrible “and my parents” should be so proud of me. ” ‘having raised such a disrespectful and nasty daughter.’ Well, Karen, my parents are no longer with us, but I’m absolutely sure they would be proud and delighted with all of this. humor and charm? Besides, my mother taught me never to back down from a bully. “
Then, with a completely beautiful move, Our Hero added some pink flamingos to the scene. John Waters would be proud.
We have ten more days for Christmas and this story is far from over. Who knows what will happen next? Will the neighbors get fucked on Christmas night after too many eggs? Will the city step in and demolish the Christmas holiday scene? Or will the neighbors bury this ax in a show of Christmas spirit?
Follow Frank the Christmas Gargoyle on Facebook to see how it ends.
PS Our Hero took a while to write a serious note to thank everyone for following their story.
“The holiday season can be a tough time for many of us, myself included, and this year has been particularly copious, so knowing that my silly messes with my naughty neighbor have caused even a small laugh to so many people I mean, I hurt myself daily, but meeting people from all over the world dangling is repressing with me is pretty disconcerting.
He then thanks everyone who is working to keep us healthy in all these difficult times, ”he wrote.
“I wanted to make a special shout out to all the nurses, doctors, EMT, PA, RT and all your frontline comments for all your comments. It ‘s a lot of fun to know that this silly page can provide even a moment of relieve all the stress you are having right now.You are the real heroes of 2020! Frank and his friends greet you! “she continued. “Everyone stays safe and remembers: hippos are Christmas AF !!”