December 19, 2020
AJ Willingham and Ivory Sherman
This time last year, if you told someone you had a “quarantine,” they’d look at you like you had five heads. But things are changing. A LOT. Let’s see how much your pandemic-era vocabulary has expanded over this strange year.
What do you call a small group of people you agree to socialize with during closures and social distancing?
Some people have created “quarantine teams” of close friends who agree to isolate themselves from everyone except each other. Others have just bought many houseplants.
Which of the following is an unfortunate side effect of wearing a mask?
Masks can be an important safety equipment, but they can definitely wreak havoc on your skin. And no one likes maskne.
What do you call someone who bravely transgresses the basic coronavirus safety guidelines?
A “Covidiot” has become the common term, but also “quite rude” would suffice as well.
How do you tell when you can’t stop looking at social media, even though everything is terrible and makes you sad?
This year we have all experienced a period of misfortune, and nothing good ever comes of it.
On the other hand, what is the term for scrolling through social media when something fantastic has happened and you just can’t get enough of it?
Creepy! What a word that sounds happy. Almost as happy as the action he describes.
If you want to get intimate with someone, but you have to do it by video call, how do you say it?
And yes, the “Zooty” of “Zooty call” is a combination of “Zoom” and “booty”.
When time passes together, weeks become months and months lose their meaning, what day is it?
All you really need to know is whether it’s a weekday or a weekend. Plus, everything is Blursday.
What is the exclusive drink (regardless of what ingredients are involved)?
A Quarantine may be the most popular term for a good Blursday descent, but we can change it and do a Cry Tai.
What is the term for the questionable style that some people end up wearing when they have to do their own hair maintenance at home?
Don’t make fun of someone’s heart. It means they are being safe and doing their best.
And finally, what term do we use to designate anything that happened before, say, March 2020?
“Remember The Before Times, when there were restaurants and a lot of sports and no one knew what ‘Zooty call’ meant?”