The year has just begun and we are already heading for the best food season. Do the fruits ripen in a vineyard somewhere sunny and idyllic? The golden fields of oats are ready to harvest, Ma? No, kids. It’s even better than that. Is it like that Girl Scout cookies season.
This year, for some weird, specifically terrible reason, your local Girl Scout troop needs to be creative when it comes to selling your cookie crop while maintaining a social distance of more than six feet. I would usually get messages from friends with kids saying, “Dennis, do you want Girl Scout cookies?” My typical response is to scream at the top of my lungs as I run in circles, scaring away the live shit of our cat, Nugget. Damn yes, I want cookies? And this year? Screw it on. Give them all to me.
He Lineup 2021 is mostly similar to previous years, so expect to see your favorites like Mint Thin, Lemonade, Bread Leaves (Shortbreads), Caramel deLites (Samoas), Do-si-dos (Peanut Butter Sandwich), Tagalongs (Peanut Butter Patties), Caramel Chocolate Chip, Toffee-tastic and Girl Scout S’mores.
Still, say hello to a new cookie this year. This is the Toast-Yay! ™, which tastes like French toast. Does that mean they taste like custard and maple syrup? I will have to figure it out myself, in the hardest way, by eating them.
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The staff of Takeaway food has been fascinated by the name Toast-Yay! ™. Our line of questions has been unbridled: why the hyphen? (We’re mostly writers.) Why the word “yes,” with an exclamation mark? How do you pluralize it (“Toasts-Yay!”?)? And maybe a young Girl Scout created that mysterious name? The Girl Scouts of America sent this answer:
“The new Toast-Yay! The cookie presents a fresh and modern touch to the classic French Toast, which brings its delicious flavor beyond the breakfast table. The name is designed to be a play on words for “toast,” which evokes the warmth and joy we believe people will associate with this new flavor inspired by French toast. “Toast” is based on the unique shape and attributes of the French cookie toast and “yay!” Celebrate Joy: The joy that Girl Scout cookies bring to consumers and how Girl Scouts create moments of joy as they use their cookie gains to support their communities and give cookies to front-line workers and local causes ”.
That answer is perhaps a little less Willy Wonka – esque than he supposed, but I guess it all makes sense.
As you can imagine, this year’s cookie sales will be a little different as there will be more online delivery system. You can order online through the mobile app (the Scouts have come a long way) and now also through Grubhub. There will be limited locations Grubhub deliveries, with any order over $ 15 that you receive cookies for free until February 14th.
If you don’t know any Girl Scouts in person, you don’t need to cry. The Girl Scouts have one nearest troop locator on their website and all orders you place will go through this troop, and the funds will go to activities such as exploratory activities or be donated to a local organization. These orders will be open for nationwide shipping beginning February 1st. However, you will be able to see Girl Scouts in person at tables set up outside of retail stores as usual, based on COVID-19 guidelines in your area.
One thing I didn’t really know is that Girl Scout’s cookie season runs from January through April. I always thought it was an amorphous time period in which the mystical Girl Scout Council made a mysterious decision, similar to the fleeting McRib. So make sure you buy a lot of cookies at once, which is what I always do. You can always store a Thin Mints sleeve in the freezer to make a head movement.