I’ve recently been spending a lot of time at Assassin’s Creed Valhalla galloping east and southeast. There are beautiful views around Kent and Dover, and it’s nice to go to the beach sometimes instead of going through the wet fertility of the more wooded areas of Mercia.
That means I’ve been planning some of the side missions (or local mysteries) in the area that I missed before, and one of them, although it took me three minutes to complete, made me laugh. It’s a sea beast called Aflanc The Terrible, only it’s actually the most theatrical attempted filicide of all time, and the NPC involved has my lasting respect.
There are many interesting NPCs in Valhalla, from serious business missions like the three pagan sisters of King Lear’s witches splashed across East Anglia, to the most whimsical ones, such as “woman living in a sewer demanding snake entrails “or ‘man who somehow really likes baseball.’ One of the fun things about the game is that you never know when you might come across one and if you’ll develop into a pretty involved side mission.”
When I saw these cliffs, for example, he said to me, “Wow, I wonder if I’ll go over there and find a murder mystery where two cops will start, one with a severe depression and another with a mother without work. disagree, but forge respect and a loving friendship. ”Broadchurch is too dark for a CA game and is located in Dorset that is out of reach of Valhalla’s map? Yes. But still. It could have happened.
Anyway, here’s what happened (spoilers for this specific search I thought too much about):
Me and my crew (and the cat) were happily sailing down the river when we heard, on the shores of Croindene and Guildford, a woman complaining loudly about her father (whose name I forgot, so I’ll refer to him as to father) for pushing her imminently into the river to drown. And so she was angry about it, but she seemed mostly exasperated; her tone was very appropriate in case, in the morning, she had forgotten to take the chicken out of the freezer, so now they could not dine on the chicken and she was looking forward to the chicken.
So obviously I got off the boat to investigate. Griseld, the young woman in question, was being sacrificed because her farm was allegedly flooded by a satanic beast called Aflanc El Terrible. Griseld was destined to appease Aflanc, who definitely existed because he was called by some guy named Godfrey.
So obviously I went for a swim and discovered that there was no monster, just a shipwreck that occasionally produced bubbles and floats. Griseld was startled by this news and the father said, “Woah, there’s no way, but is there a monster?” I then Godfrey ran and said he had specifically told his father that there were no monsters, and that his father had just looked for an excuse to kill Griseld because, for example, he annoyed him by saying he drank too much and called him a “layabout.” “. Griseld responded by expelling the father.
Therefore, my thoughts were roughly in order, as follows:
- Oh, my God, what a champion of men. What an absolute hero. Being so outraged by what is, at best, an annoying nuisance, that a sincere belief is invented in a huge monster as a reason to kill her. Great energy of the Old Testament.
- The theatricality of it all. He covered the river bank with petals to make his murder. Why make so many efforts? Given the historical context, he clearly could have killed her and said a bandit did. Or he just pushed her and said it was an accident. Or, actually, I just killed him and I didn’t bother to really hide it.
- As in The Witcher 3, every village you go to has a ghost that insists it has been chasing its ancient apple tree for hundreds of years, even the most superficial research reveals that it is the ghost of a teenager missing three weeks ago. , and whose blood is still visible on the ground. Dad could probably have kicked the dead leaves off Griseld’s body and, if anyone bothered to ask him, he said “the bitch had to come, he told me it was a ‘layabout’.”
- Who is Godfrey ?? His relationship with any party here is not explained.
- Also, what the hell, Godfrey, why do you only show up right after you’ve solved the problem? Not that it was being done in secret. This possible murder is an event. There are few people. What else did you do that was so important, Godfrey? Did you hide among the bushes to wait for the most dramatic moment to arrive and reveal your father’s terrible secret?
- Griseld is very cold about all this and I respect her for it, but I also care.
- But seriously, this man has worked so hard to drown his daughter. He has pretended to fervently believe that there is a dangerous monster that lives in the river for an undisclosed time. He probably has fame.
- Imagine picking it up meticulously and scattering all the petals everywhere.
- Of course he is not kind.
- I am by your side.
Unfortunately, I didn’t get to take a screenshot of Dad, but he, his indescribable robe and his bald head, are forever with me. If there is justice in the world, this will start a huge line of search where I can install the father, expelled from his daughter’s house, as king somewhere. He is the ruler who needs Valhalla’s troubled times: ready to do the hard, and wild out of proportion decisions.
What I am saying is that many of the side missions in Valhalla are absolutely absurd and I love them more for that.