Imagining 2021 may make even more twists and turns after a year like no other in recent memory, but few might be surprised at this point if it does.
So, without further ado, a stab to predict events we might see in the new year.
Anchorage Acting Mayor Austin Quinn-Davidson will do a COVID-19 test per week until he tests positive again. After proving that people can get it twice, it will restrict homes to no more than two people and move additional members to the Golden Lion Inn. The Assembly approved it by an 8-0 vote after Eagle River members Jamie Allard and Crystal Kennedy were left out of the meeting by a laughing Felix Rivera.
An attempt to resolve membership in the Alaska House of Representatives through a paper-and-paper scissors game will be unsuccessful after more than a hundred rounds when everyone keeps throwing rock.
In an effort to finally win a lawsuit, Gov. Mike Dunleavy will sue himself.
Alaska has a break when President Joe Biden approves drilling in ANWR because he believes it is in Iran.
Republicans will lose both Senate seats in Georgia after the Secretary of State decides to accept the Atlanta Falcons jerseys as proof of residency.
Television networks trying to raise ratings after setting records during the Trump years will become new derivatives, including the Masked Chef, the Masked Pawn Star, and the Masked Bachelor. The trend will make the shark jump after the debut of The Masked Curse of Oak Island.
However, masks will generally increase in popularity after people who have received the COVID-19 vaccine do not shut up.
The intrigue will unfold in the White House when it is Vice President Kamala Harris, replacing President Biden, who is not allowed access to sharp objects.
Oil will jump $ 10 a barrel after Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is named Biden’s climate tsar and gets her own private jet to fly around the country promoting the Paris agreements.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi will agree with President Trump’s demand for more economic stimulus checks after she realizes $ 600 is not enough to fill her $ 24,000 freezer with her ice cream favorite. In turn, it will offer every American a coupon for a day of personal spa.
After January 20, the media sector will suffer significant losses especially in the verification of jobs, as news organizations believe again everything that comes from the White House, interviewing Biden’s dog and covering all the covers of the fashion magazine with circulations by Harris and You-better-call-it-Doctor Jill Biden.
Some of these predictions are more likely than others, but one is true: no matter what happens, at least it won’t be 2021.
You can reach Andrew Jensen in [email protected].