Ant Anstead was in “a very dark place” after his separation from his wife, Christina

Ant Anstead’s separated wife, 37-year-old Christina, announced their shocking separation in September, after less than two years of marriage.

And while he’s currently “taking steps toward healing,” the 41-year-old Wheeler Dealers host admitted to People that the conflict with the divorce put him in “a very dark place.”

“It hit me hard. The impact on me, my sleep, my diet, my stress, showed,” said Anstead, who “lost more than 20 pounds after the devastating breakup.

‘Every day is an improvement. Obviously, going back a couple of months, I mean, was a great success. “

But fortunately for the UK native, he was able to muster the strength to pull himself out of his depression and focus on the “big things” of his life.

“I got to that turning point where I was either going to live in the dark or I would just punch myself in the face a few times and say,‘ Wake up; you are incredibly blessed. Focus on all the big things, ” he recalled.

Ant’s first step toward healing came when he decided to enroll in a 35-day online “break recovery” course, followed by a faith-based weekend retreat focused on harmonization. of the mind and body.

He explained at the outset that the recovery and withdrawal course helped remind him that “no one controls me more than me” and that “it’s up to me to empower myself and realize the incredible dignity I have of heal me “.

Anstead also found the strength to open up and lean on his daughter Amelie, 17, and son Archie, 14, who reside in the UK with his mother Louise. Ant and they married from 2005 until the divorce in 2017.

‘[Amelie and Archie] they are really my best friends, “he blurted out. Ant revealed that the news of his divorce from Christina was also” devastating for them. ”

“It was a very, very difficult FaceTime call,” he recalled. “They loved Christina (they still do) and they wanted us to work. I think all kids just want to see their parents happy.”

Another person who proved to be a great lifesaver for Ant was his 16-month-old son Hudson, who he shares with his estranged wife Christina.

He admitted that dealing with divorce “without [Hudson] it would have been incredibly difficult, “adding that the little one” has filled [his] heart ‘and’ really saved [him]. “

Sprouting about his bond with Hudson, Ant disliked people who “like to go to the beach, read, go out and be active” together.

“He and I have this really amazing relationship between us. We have this father-son bond and, let me tell you, he’s one of the funniest kids around,” said the star, who spent this past Christmas with Hudson in Arizona.

As for how Ant and Christina’s custody will look to move forward, host Flip Or Flop filed joint custody in November and, according to Ant, they plan to ‘mate amicably’.

“There’s never been a scenario where I would have asked for it and not had it, and vice versa,” Ant stressed.

Despite not being romantic with Christina, Anstead said he hopes to “always have a relationship” with Christina’s two sons, daughter Taylor, 10, and son Brayden, five.

“If they ever need me, I’ll be there with a heartbeat. The five kids are the first priority.”

Christina shares Taylor and Brayden with her ex-husband and Flip or Flop Coast, Tarek El Moussa, 39.

Towards the end of his interview, Anstead admitted that he has no plans to return to the UK and that he will remember the US.

He is currently “staying in a rental house on Laguna beach”, which is very close to Christina’s residence, until he finds a place to live that “seems like a refuge”.

‘I am taking steps towards healing, even if it is very slow, ”said the star. “There is no quick fix for a broken heart.”