Colbert on polling station voting: “Put a fork on the president, it’s over” | Night television summary

Stephen Colbert

Minutes before the recording of Monday’s Late Show, the polling station certified Joe Biden’s victory in the presidential election, effectively ending Donald Trump’s attempt to subvert the American democratic process. “Right now, Joe Biden has won the election so many times, he’s our 46th president to 51st president,” Stephen Colbert joked. “After six agonizing weeks, the elections are finally over. He hits the president with a fork, that’s it. Also, have this fork on hand because putting it in your butt may be the only way to get it out of the White House. ”

Electoral college voting, usually a dark constitutional formality under control this year due to the president’s unprecedented and widely failed attempts to annul the election, marks the end of “all possible ways.” [Trump] he could try to destroy our democracy, “Colbert said,” but that doesn’t mean his assault for months hasn’t caused any harm. “

Case study: Rising security and tension surrounding Monday’s vote at polling universities, as fears of violence, sparked by a president who still refuses to grant elections, led Michigan to close. its capital (Arizona) to hold the meeting in an undisclosed location and Wisconsin will install a secret entrance to protect its voters. “That’s crazy!” Exclaimed Colbert. “These people are not politicians. They are not even voters. They are messengers of what voters said.

“That’s why the phrase ‘don’t shoot at messengers’ was literally invented,” Colbert continued. “But thanks to the GOP, this saying is, we are cuckoo bananas and we have many weapons “.

The polling station vote, given its own election night special on CNN, should be “all boring, everyone knows it’s going to happen,” Colbert added. “It simply came to our notice then. It’s like making death threats to paint to dry. ”

Trevor Noah

On the Daily Show, Trevor Noah summed up again against Trump’s chances of subverting American democracy: On Saturday, the Supreme Court briefly refused to hear a long-running lawsuit filed by the Texas Attorney General and backed by 126 House Republicans, to invalidate votes in key states like Pennsylvania, Michigan and Wisconsin.

The rejection was “ice cold,” Noah said, “because the Supreme Court didn’t even hear Trump’s case, but announced to everyone that he wouldn’t know him. Anyway, it’s bad enough when someone sends you directly.” in the voicemail, but imagine if he then went around telling everyone he was doing it.

“That’s how Republicans have fared since election day,” Noah later added. “At first remember they were like,‘ Wait, wait, we don’t know who will win the counts, just let the process unfold. ’Then they counted all the votes and Republicans said,‘ We don’t know who will win the legal challenges, just let the process unfold. “And now that the legal challenges are over, they’re like,” We don’t know who Congress will vote for, let the process unfold. “

“Meanwhile, his supporters are on the streets causing the shit to fall,” he said, referring to an event over the weekend in which thousands of Trump supporters, including members of the far-right extremist group, the Proud Boys, marched on Washington provoked violent clashes with police and counter-protesters.

“Depending on how they’ve acted so far, don’t count on Republicans to put an end to that,” Noah said. “They’re more likely to spend the next four years saying,‘ I know Joe Biden says he’s president, but there’s still violence on the streets and we don’t know who will win this, so let the process unfold. ‘”

Seth Meyers

And late at night, Seth Meyers also discussed the Supreme Court’s dismissal of Texas’ lawsuit to invalidate millions of votes in other states. “Extreme conservatives, including three nominated by Trump, didn’t want to be close to this thing because it was too crazy,” he said. “They were happy to go with Trump to the TP principle house, but when he said, ‘Now should we go in and kill him?’ I should have known they would come out again. “

Despite the setback, Trump’s team continued to push with new lines to cancel the election: at Fox & Friends, White House adviser Stephen Miller called on state legislatures to demand that the its voters voted for Trump and launched conspiracy theories about “thousands of people.” ”Invalid votes from, among many categories, deceased voters.

“Of course, Miller believes there are dead voters because he he is a dead voter, ”Meyers replied. “Technically, undead: it came into existence when a drawing by Charles Adams was struck by lightning.

“To be clear, what it says there is that Congress and state legislatures should step in and cancel the election in which seven million Americans voted for Biden more than Trump,” Meyers said.

“These guys want to destroy the legal votes of millions of Americans just because they don’t agree with the outcome,” he added. “If they are successful now or in the future, it is by definition the end of our democracy.”