How to decode office body language while working from home

Also, we had all day to figure it out, picking up small clues from the promenade to fill our coffee cups or the minutes spent mixing before the meetings. Now, our work interactions are reduced to a 15-minute look at the lives of others in Zoom calls, or a lot of emails with no additional context. Trying to read body language through a screen has become another exhausting part of the workday.

“We feel like we have a hand tied behind our back,” says Traci Brown, a Boulder-based body language speaker and author, Colo.

There are still many ways to read nonverbal clues if you know where to look, says Mrs. Brown. Start with people’s movements during video calls – a partner crossing their arms may indicate that they are locked into an idea or have information that you are not considering, he says. An accelerated or slow blinking rhythm can mean stress. And pay attention to the eyebrows. Eyebrows pointing to the middle of the nose indicate anger; eyebrows in a neutral position, but rolled up in the midpoint of sadness, Ms. Brown.

The approach is not infallible. That fellow with his arms crossed could only get cold. Consider body language as advice that you need to deepen to find out what’s really going on with someone.

Much of our analysis of other people at work used to happen unconsciously, the result of years of evolution. Now, we have to ignore our previously useful assumptions or we get confused and wrong.

“The gestures we’ve made throughout our lives continue, but they don’t have the same meaning as they once did,” says Jeremy Bailenson, founding director of Stanford University’s Virtual Human Interaction Lab and professor of communication at the school. .

Take a look. Looking straight into the eyes for more than a second or two is interpreted as intimacy or a precursor to conflict, Dr. Bailenson says, triggering our fight-or-flight response. Now we fix our eyes all day on Zoom. And our on-screen images are generally larger than the typical personal space in the office would allow. Perceived closeness can make us feel uncomfortable or convince us that a meeting attendee cares about us more than we really are, he says.

Tony Caleca, managing partner of the consulting and consulting firm of St. Louis Brown Smith Wallace, was used to his teammate Steve pushing his shoulders forward and sliding into his seat when he was ready to share during a face-to-face meeting. But on video the movement felt more dramatic.

“At first it was a little alarming,” Caleca says. “I thought he was coming towards you.” Caleca began to remember that the picture was just that Steve was getting ready to talk.

Valeria Klamm, internship manager at the same company, has found herself frozen in video calls almost daily due to a poor internet connection. When the frame includes a frown, peers may receive the wrong message.

“We were worried that she might feel offended by something we said,” says Kelly Peery, a colleague who was recently on a call where everyone was laughing at a shared joke, except for a quiet, angry lady, Klamm. It was just another freeze.

“I should just have a sign that says, ‘It’s not you, it’s me,'” says Mrs. Klamm, 32. “I’m like, damn, how long I’m frozen? I’m here. I’ve been engaged. How long did it look like I wasn’t engaged? “

Written communication can be just as tense. People get caught up in everything, from the brevity of emails (nothing creeps like an answer to just a question mark) to the moment.

Erica Dhawan, author of the upcoming book “Digital Body Language” and CEO of Cotential, a collaborative New York-based consultancy, suggests that baffled customers ask for clarity if they have a close relationship with the issuer and only assume a good intention. if they don’t. Remember that punctuation marks like ellipses are often used differently by generation: older workers may mean nothing to them, while younger workers read them as sarcastic. Some may love emojis, while others remain baffled.

Developing organizational rules can help. Ms. Dhawan had a health insurance company currency abbreviation that indicated how quickly the sender expected the recipient to respond. The inclusion of “4H” in a subject line meant that the note needed an answer within four hours.

If something annoying (e.g., a message that opens with a passive-aggressive “for my last email”) happens three times, it’s probably worth a sincere conversation, says Ms. Dhawan. You can share examples of virtual interactions that are confusing or worrying. Or, ask yourself if changing media can fix the problem quickly.

“A phone call is worth over a thousand emails,” he says.

Read the digital room

Avoid getting hooked on digital body language, with advice from Stanford Professor Jeremy Bailenson and author Erica Dhawan:

Add some space: Reduce the size of the zoom window so that meeting attendees don’t look uncomfortable nearby.

Hide personal view: Focusing on the whole meeting is not a good way to grasp the directions of others.

Pay attention to changes: If your boss, usually casual, uses more formal language, there may be something.

Do not overreact: If someone sends you a confusing or slightly passive-aggressive email, assume good intentions. If communication doesn’t affect your ability to get the job done, it might be okay to let it go. If something happens three times, it’s time to chat honestly.

Write to Rachel Feintzeig to [email protected]