Dear Moneyist,
My husband is 67 years old and owns a $ 2 million estate. His first wife died. She has a very disabled daughter and we signed a prenup when we got married three years ago.
She has a sister who is a year older than me. I am 64 years old with two adult children from a previous marriage that ended in divorce. Her sister has a son and a daughter, and she has two granddaughters.
My husband wants to leave our house, which he owns and bought before we got married, while I live. He doesn’t want my kids to inherit it when I die. She wants him to go to her sister’s family.
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Can you prevent my children from inheriting the property they want from me? Most of her property goes to her daughter’s trust and sister anyway. She may survive her sister and daughter.
I know I’m the rookie here, but I find it a little hard that I can only have the house to live in and not sell it, if I need the money for future medical expenses.
He is very controlling of his money. What do you think?
The new woman with a prenup
Dear new woman,
Keeping control of your money and / or managing it is clearly different from controlling your money. It’s their money and it’s up to your husband to do it as he sees fit. This includes taking financial care of his daughter, in case he precedes her. Giving him a “lifetime estate” or a “right of residence” in his last will is more than generous. You don’t have to worry about never having a place to live.
It’s time to make your expectations right. You’ve been married to this man for three years. I presume, he is retired and has lived a long and healthy life. Like you said, you weren’t a couple when you earned most of that money, and in a community-owned state, you’re not entitled to any money that was earned before you got married, even if you divorced. In a different state of ownership, I can’t see a judge awarding you his house and 50% of his property.
You can check a health savings account (HSA) to help you save money for retirement. especially health care expenses during retirement. You can qualify if you have a highly deductible insurance plan, but it also allows you to take up to $ 3,550 (for one person) or $ 7,100 (for a family) in pre-tax money, which your employer (or book (especially if you buy your own health insurance) and place in an HSA each year.A real estate planner can help you explore other options.
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In the meantime, allowing him to live in your home for the rest of the day does not mean he is the owner of the property. This is a victory for someone you have only been married to for three years, especially because you are 60 years old. If he sold the house, where could this leave his severely disabled daughter if she needed full-time care or future medical care? I see no reason for your children to be part of your estate planning.
Her daughter is her number 1 priority, and she is exactly that. One of the biggest post-retirement expenses has been removed from your life, although you may have to pay maintenance for maintenance and property taxes, depending on your husband’s will. This is a small price to pay for your generosity. You have at least five more years of work ahead of you. You have to make them count. I definitely hope you enjoy them.
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