Like all the important hosts of the night except Jimmy Kimmel, Stephen Colbert was on holiday last week, which meant he missed the climax of Matt Gaetz’s sex trafficking scandal. But with the new developments that unfold every day, the Late Show host caught on Wednesday night. And it didn’t slow down.
Colbert began with the “blanket forgiveness,” Rep. Gaetz (R-FL) would have asked Donald Trump jokingly, “I don’t think the blanket wants forgiveness. I think you want to burn. It’s been seen too much.”
“Gaetz wanted a precautionary pardon for any illegal activity he has ever done, as innocent people do,” the host continued. “And he had reason to believe he could get this pardon because of his close relationship with the former president.”
From there, he shared real passages from Gaetz’s recent book in which he boasts of having received calls from Trump while he was “on the throne, on the planes and at the club.” Colbert added, “The president has called me everywhere: while lurking among the bushes of an institute, while making false identifications, even while tutoring my girlfriend for the SATs.”
The congressman even boasted that Trump called him while he was “in the midst of passion” and responded. “Thinking Matt Matt has sex, I’m ready,” Colbert joked.
Pointing out that Gaetz didn’t get his pardon because Trump’s lawyers thought he would set a “bad precedent,” Colbert asked, “You know what shadow you have to have for the No. 45 lawyers to say,‘ No, that’s a bad thing. aspects? “He imagined them adding, ‘Now, if you’ll excuse me, I just hit the camera, they drop my head and I arrive late for the press conference at the crematorium dildo store.’
Finally, the host noted Gaetz’s intense irony by making an upcoming speech in front of a group of conservative women about one of Trump’s golf courses. “You could say this is putting the fox in the henhouse, but Gaetz prefers to keep the eggs.”
“Her speech is part of a gala dinner that has as its theme‘ American, with barbecue, boots and bluegrass, ’” Colbert added. “Not to be confused with Gaetz’s usual theme:“ Molly, Minors and mandatory minimums “. He then concluded, “The group has received a lot of criticism for reserving Gaetz, but they defended the decision and called Gaetz a fearless leader in DC.” Yes, Gaetz fears nothing except the parents of the person texting. “
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