It was a story that looked like it was written for night television.
Like the Washington Post Lede read: “Many U.S. intelligence agents have stood guard in the elite Kalorama neighborhood of Washington, home of cabinet secretaries and former presidents over the years. These agents have had to worry about death threats, safe perimeters and strangers. But with the arrival of Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner, they had a new concern: finding a toilet. “
What followed was an increasingly amusing and absurd account of the couple’s refusal to let secret service agents in charge of protecting them use any of their six-and-a-half bathrooms, forcing taxpayers to pay. the bill for an underground studio of $ 3,000 a month so they had a place to relieve themselves.
“For those of you who think you might not dislike Jared and Ivanka anymore, we have an important update,” Stephen Colbert said during his monologue Thursday night before recounting the most absurd details of the story. “Although I understand that Kushners’ toilets may be very busy right now, with Jared and Ivanka dragging their social lives and political futures.”
Like the Late Show the host explained, at first officers used a bathroom in the garage of Barack and Michelle Obama’s house on the street, but “this solution was also short-lived after a Trump / Kushner secret service supervisor left a nasty Obama’s bathroom mess. “
“Did you wrap Barack Obama’s bathroom ?!” Colbert exclaimed. “Come on, the man is retired! Is he literally too old for that shit !?
As for the rented studio, which has so far cost $ 100,000, he added. “It simply came to our notice then. Which, I must say, is really brand new to Ivanka. “
“I wasn’t a fan of this couple before, but it seems particularly bad that Jared and Ivanka don’t [allow] Secret service in the bathrooms “, said Colbert. “I’m just saying that these are men and women who would literally take a bullet for you. The least you can do is let them escape. “
For more information, listen and subscribe The last laugh podcast.