He has recently realized that he is doing everything he can to get the chores out of the house.
“I used to eat on days off, take care of ALL my children’s needs and do basic cleaning so I can breathe. raised a finger to clean it in weeks. So on my 3 days off a week, I have to clean the whole house in depth because I don’t have time to do anything during work days, other than the bare minimum. “
Two weeks before he went on vacation he reached his limit.
“I asked him for help 2 weeks ago. He was forced for 30 minutes before taking off to go help a roommate with his car and he didn’t jack squat after coming home because he was” tired. “He needed a rest. I told him that. His way of comforting me was by hugging me and saying “You’re doing such a good job.” He didn’t offer me help or anything. “
His condescension would send anyone on a four-day vacation. So he did.
“So I made a plan. I asked my mother to take my son for 4 days and I planned a vacation with work. I left my son yesterday with my mother (I only did it because the my husband obviously works) and I took off in our cabin 58 miles away to relax. “
Her husband could not understand why she was going on vacation without telling her. But he had let her know he needed more support for months.
“My husband started texting me last night wondering where he was. I told him in the cabin. He asked me where our son was, so I told him. He started talking about as this is selfish of me and that if he had realized that it was not only he stressed to me that he would have helped more.He used the argument that he is also stressed and tired.He states that my communication on the subject was terrible and which could have been more open and exposed. “
At the time, he had the courage to say that he could also use a vacation. Of course, this guy doesn’t get what’s going on in his house.
“[He] he says I am one [a**hole] to take a vacation without him because “I could have used it too.” But the thing is, I immediately told him I needed a break. I asked him for help. He ignored everything. “
The responses to his sudden vacation were almost 100% positive.
“Does the husband have no eyes? Can’t see what needs to be cleaned, tidied or cooked? Doesn’t he know his son’s needs? Wife to clean up after he opens his eyes,” ToTwoTooToo wrote.
“Just like with my ex,” Minkiemink wrote. “I told him calmly over and over again. I finally realized that if I had to do it all by myself, I’d rather do it alone with fewer dishes, less clothes, less mess. I never looked back.”
The message resonated with many people because it is a very common problem. According to Gallup, in heterosexual relationships, women work much harder than men.
“While women make up nearly half of the U.S. workforce, they still fulfill a larger share of household responsibilities,” Gallup said. “Heterosexual couples married or in the United States continue to divide household chores along generally traditional lines, with the woman having the relationship assuming primary responsibility for washing clothes (58%), cleaning the house (51%), and preparing meals (51%). “
The reason many men don’t strive to do household chores is that they assume it’s a woman’s job and that when a man participates, he deserves a cookie.
“In many marriages, housework is supposed to be for women, while men believe that taking care of the house is optional. When they do something, they see it as helping their wives and being a good husband, but they don’t. consider it their real responsibility, ”Rob Pascale and Lou Primavera Ph.D. write in Psychology Today. “Instead, they often expect what they do to be remarkable and laudable, and sometimes be a basis for negotiating other goods and services for their women.”
It’s unclear what happened after Mom returned from her much-needed four-day vacation, but we have to wait for her to get to her point. “I need more help” means exactly that.
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