The woman tries to find love like everyone else does in Hallmark’s Christmas movies and fails miserably

Hallmark Channel’s Christmas movies are proudly predictable, full of clichés and tasteless like a virgin. But people love it. I mean they love them very much.

According to Crown Media, Hallmark’s father and his sister network Hallmark Movies & Mysteries, an average of 3.5 million people tuned in to Hallmark’s “Countdown to Christmas” during his nine-week career in 2018.

He laughs at everything he wants with the sweet movies, but Hallmark doesn’t care. In 2018, it earned $ 600 million in advertising revenue.

Hallmark has a formula and sticks to it. Even his movie posters are formulaic, Dave Addyey created a montage of Hallmark Christmas movie posters, and their resemblance is pretty funny. Each features a white woman in red holding a Christmas ornament and a white man holding her dressed in green. Both are bathed in beautiful golden lighting.

Designer Jessica Jones has even created a bingo card so you can play with all the clichés during the holidays.

Do you want to cancel? To check.

Woman leaving a successful job for life in a small town? To check.

Scene where they decorate a Christmas tree? To check.

Does a child make a wish? To check.

Gift wrapping scene? BINGO!

And, of course, the film must have a female protagonist who participated in the TV show “Full House.” It just wouldn’t be a Hallmark Christmas movie without Candace Cameron Bure, Lori Laughlin or Jodie Sweetin. But of course, we’ll settle for other teenage TV stars from the ’90s like Danica McKellar or Lacey Chabert.

Comedian Elizabeth Kemp had fun with the clichés of Hallmark’s Christmas movies by creating a fun video where she plays the typical “big city character who comes to a small town for Christmas.”

But unfortunately, even though he is in a position to find love, this never happens. Hence the title, “Hallmark Movies Lied to Me.”

“I’m over 30 years old. I have several graduate degrees, I’ve definitely prioritized my career. I’m single, but I’ve been in Vermont for five days now and no one has come to me to save an inn or planning a festival. fall or even just asked me to reconsider my priorities, ”he says at the opening of the video.

Then, Kemp visits a Christmas tree farm and utters the phrases that should catch the attention of the male protagonist. “I hate Christmas, I hate fall. Nothing on the holidays attracts me,” he says.

He even prepares a trap for a lover by grabbing a cup of hot coffee and posting it in a classic small town lookout. But nothing happens.

Kemp manages to take the road and waits for a traffic incident. Missing a pedestrian just short of your car is a great way for couples to have a good get-together in Hallmark movies.

Unfortunately, Elizabeth did not know the love of her life in a welcoming and Christmas way. But the good news is that she didn’t end up accidentally as a female protagonist in a lifelong film. Then I would have big problems.