Who is ready to get rid of 2021?
The party shop, who’s who! A trip around Clearwater Party City this week revealed a decoration designed to send this year as terribly as a cockroach to the plinths. While everyone was in a hurry to finish their Christmas shopping and separate from the US 19, the party store had been set up in an elegant fraternity home setting.
The main slogan on hats, signs and balloons was “FU 2021”, which is the Chinese character of “fortune” or something else. Golden noise makers read “2021 hits,” which is a gesture to disperse dandelion seeds by a wish or something.
According to the glamorous models that appear on the packaging of the party store, we will spend December 31 surrounded by friends with half-naked and very straight teeth, we will not sit alone at home with the only tracksuit pants that fit. We’ll toast our future with sparkling wine, and we won’t fall asleep at 9:45 pm after chewing several Rolaids.
And, it seems that, every day, we will wear headband bands at the end of the year. Why are they always flapper bands? I don’t know how to say it at the party store, but almost everyone died at the end of The great Gatsby.
There is a bit of magical thinking that involves moving forward. Events keep coming out, such as two or three months. The Gasparilla Distance Classic, the Florida State Fair, family vacations, personal appointments. It is therapeutic to think that, with just a little more time back, we will return to normal and share funnel cakes. Maybe we should postpone New Year’s Eve for two months? Argue.
No, no. We all look forward to continuing from 2021. With COVID-19 vaccines starting to circulate, we look forward to it coming out! But we will be in this repair phase for a while and expectations need to be moderated. We have to go back to the nude sushi parties that business people had in the 90s (or was that just in the movies?).
Let’s start with this holiday. May always say, “It can’t get any worse!” Don’t say that! When you say that, invite an old hexagon that will create 16 coronavirus mutations. Likewise, don’t say, “If we get it this year, we can beat anything!” You can also stand in front of a mirror singing “Bloody Mary”.
Don’t make an ambitious list of goals to tackle right away. Do not book a trip to Mallorca for February. Don’t renew your plans to follow Elton John on tour. Start small. Think of one of the many appealing New Year’s resolutions, such as adding a vitamin D supplement to your diet or calling the city about the problem of street drainage.
At midnight, there will be no hero on a horse to save us, nor an alien ship to take us to a place where everything is healed. It’s enough celebration to have gotten this far. It’s enough celebration to open the door on January 1, 2021, look outside, say “It’s still there” and then close the door.
A decoration in Party City might be appropriate. It was a banner with the numbers 202_, with the idea of being reusable for the next decade. But why not jump ahead to brighter days? Right now no one would blame you for choosing to celebrate 2024. I’ve heard they have hugs there.
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