What Christmas do we want? Social responsibility or emotional well-being

The debate on how to celebrate pandemic christmas it is everywhere. What is the priority, minimizing social contact or seeking the warmth of loved ones at the end of this difficult year? The doctor and researcher at the University of Leicester Salvador Macip and the UOC’s professor of psychology and director of the Public Emotional Culture project Mireia Cabero they approach the debate from two perspectives that are not necessarily confronted: the health and the emotional.

-Tell me, how do you think we should behave this Christmas?

– I think the message should be that everyone celebrates Christmas with the people they live with, because it’s the only way there is zero risk. We all know that the most risky situation is: an enclosed space, without ventilation and a high number of people for many hours without distance or mask. Exactly what a Christmas lunch is.

-So, is the wrong message being conveyed to people?

-The message that is being given is that with some modifications we can make more or less a normal Christmas, and yes, this is very dangerous. We’ve already seen what happened in the summer, and if we do a normal Christmas the same thing will happen. Contagions are going to increase, and the more contagions there are, the more deaths there will be as well. It would be a shame. Right now that we are on the final stretch, that vaccination is about to begin. There is little, very little left.

-Summer is the mirror we have to look at, right?

-Yes, we are in a situation very similar to the one we experienced after the summer, even worse, because in the summer the numbers were better after the confinement, and what happened then was that the people relaxed and started doing things that posed a risk, so the wave started to go up. And now we are in a similar situation.

-The emotional and psychological component. What do we say to those who raise these arguments?

-Psychological reality is very important, but we need to have some perspective. I think everyone should be responsible for the risk they want to take, keeping in mind that the only zero risk is not to hold out of the bubble. We must appeal to the responsibility of each one to make the right decisions according to the reality, which, whether we like it or not, is that the virus is circulating at levels that are not safe.

-It has been a difficult year. People need family, warmth of home …

-Look, they don’t have to tell me about the emotional importance of Christmas, I live outside and I haven’t seen my parents since last Christmas, and I’m very upset not to see them this Christmas. But for me it is more important to make the sacrifice, not to put my parents at risk and minimize the risk on a social level. Christmas is a day, and if you want to see your loved ones, do it, but in a safe environment. You can have a picnic, or go for a walk, get warm and go for a walk. I think there are solutions.

-Are we a children’s society, that in the face of the carnage we are living, with thousands of deaths around us, we only think of celebrating?

-I didn’t mean it that way, but he puts it on my tray. It’s a good description. You have to have perspective: this is a lost Christmas, okay. It is an important emotional impact, of course, it is not necessary to minimize it, but it is a Christmas, we are not talking about …

-A war?

-Exactly. I mean, my dad’s generation went through a war and a postwar, so let’s put some perspective: it’s not the end of the world if we skip Christmas. It is worth making the sacrifice. I do it with great pleasure even if I fuck, to be able to help save the few or many lives we can save if we manage to prevent the contagion from rising in January.

-What should the administrations do, then? Prohibit anything beyond the bubble?

-I am against banning, I think banning has the opposite effect. Rather than banning, it needs to be explained. Doing pedagogy, making sure people understand the risk and importance of the personal and social responsibility we all have. In a democratic country like ours this is not achieved with bans but with politicians and scientists coming out to the media explaining the reality. And I repeat, the reality is what it is.

-We talk about the difference between a manageable third wave and an uncontrolled one, I guess.

-Exactly. There will be a third wave, this is almost certain, the question is how big it will be, and that depends a bit on us now. The important thing is for people to realize that more cases mean more deaths. We must make the last sacrifice to get the maximum number of people to overcome this pandemic, and that by Christmas of 2121 we are all at the table.

-Tell me, how should this Christmas be, from a psychological point of view?

-Look, I have two adjectives: that they are a safe Christmas and a serene Christmas. And I’m not talking exclusively about health security, I’m talking about psychological security. A little emotional cane and cool, positive emotions would do us good.

-Psychological security?

-Psychological security, yes. It is the inner conviction that we have the tools to face adversity, challenges and what life offers us.

-What would it mean in practice, in the face of Christmas? Is it ideal to look for heat in the home within health security?

-That would be great. We come from a time very lacking in tribes, from the warmth that the tribe gives us, from the security that the tribe gives us. Of the feeling of belonging and of feeling loved, and this is not communicated only through words or non-verbal communication, it is communicated through the body, gestures, the warmth of contact.

-Would strict confinement for Christmas have a massive psychological impact?

-I think there is a percentage of the population that would live it as, well, one more drop added to the effort to maintain this lack of relationships for months. People with enough adaptive ability to say, I’m going to make them cool anyway, Christmas. But I also think that there is a percentage of the population whose emotional distress would get worse.

-Is she a notary? If we had a Christmas with strict measures, would you notice?

-It would be noticeable, yes, I think so. If I was starting the pandemic it would take us less tired, but we are tired, I mean emotionally, and obviously in that tiredness there are clues.

-What do you mean?

-That in all this set of people who arrive with a greater psychological vulnerability, with less adaptive capacity or in a delicate vital moment, the pain is exponential. As you steal from them chances of contact and warmth, their pain rises exponentially.

-Tell me, apart from the cultural fact, do you think that the urgency of seeing our loved ones is mixed with the fear that some of them, or ourselves, will be taken away by the covid?

-Certainly. Many people are very clear that if they can see their parents today, better, because tomorrow there will be people who will stop being due to this disease. And this generates significant psychological pressure, not knowing how long we will resist as a living family.

-The covid confronts us with death.

-Yes, this is something I have observed as a psychologist, who has put us in front of death in a very egalitarian way, with the feeling that it could be tomorrow. This is something we rarely feel in life, because we quickly forget reality. There is a constant mental and emotional rum-rum that reminds us that it is a very vulnerable time. I’ve heard it many times, “Let’s see if we can get together because next year we don’t know who it will be.” And not necessarily in families with seniors, eh?

-There is a lot of talk about balancing the health and the economic, but maybe there is a third leg in this balance that is psychological, right?

-In fact, one of the dimensions of health that has been most affected during this pandemic is mental health. I recently read that in Japan the number of suicides exceeds the number of people killed by coronavirus this year. The impact on mental health is being very severe, and not just in people with severe imbalances, but in people with a certain vulnerability, or sensitivity.

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-Have you not been given the attention you deserve?

-I would say no. There is a very high imbalance between the effort that is being made against the virus and the care that is being given to the interior of people. I wouldn’t say nothing is being done because I am aware of actions, but they are not enough. It is very difficult to understand that we need to promote emotional well-being. The psychological must be cared for en masse, and with the resources that are now being put in it is not enough.